I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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