She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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