well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize