But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
