oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
