There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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