She is in my trunk
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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