The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
