I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
