What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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