i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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