Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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