how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize