Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
