I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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