Im at strip club and am horny
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
