i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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