oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
