I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
