What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
