she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
