Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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