so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
