It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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