She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
