Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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