I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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