God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
