Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's shark week go big or go home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
