you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize