Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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