Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
