i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
being pregnant is like rehab
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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