It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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