I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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