just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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