Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
