wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
