Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
