when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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