the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got inside last night via doggy door
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
