just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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