after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
