if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
