Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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