yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
