I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
