So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
