is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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