dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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