Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
