i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
