I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
