You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
