if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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