Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
