Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
