Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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