we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
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She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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