So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I looked at my own cervix.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
