i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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