we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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