A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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