spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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