Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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